Maternal Mental Health and Attachment

When I meet with groups of expectant moms, it’s common that many of these parents-to-be are unaware of the symptoms, prevalence, and realities of of postpartum depression but, maybe even more importantly, they are unaware of what’s at stake.

So what’s at stake when a mom has postpartum depression? Her happiness and wellbeing, of course, but also, her attachment with her baby.

Attachment is the connection between an infant child and their primary caregiver (often mom). It is formed between mom and baby from the first moments of life. When baby cries out in hunger, loneliness, or discomfort, and mom is there to help, attachment grows. And this strong attachment sets a foundation for the rest of the baby’s life. Not only will baby and mom have a strong bond that will endure the test of time, but that baby will grow up to form strong, healthy relationships with others as a result of the good attachment from their infancy.

So what happens if mom has depression and finds that she cannot emotionally respond to her baby? A common symptom of postpartum depression is that mom feels distant, removed from interactions with the baby. This is not to say that the baby is at all not being cared for, but that mom isn’t emotionally present or may take longer to respond when baby cries out for help. As a result, the baby’s attachment to mom suffers. And when baby’s attachment is weakened, the risk is that it impacts how the baby bonds to mom and relates to other people well into adulthood.

So what can you do? Simple. Stay on top of watching for signs for postpartum depression, and reach out for help if you notice things are becoming challenging. The best thing that you can do to preserve your attachment with your baby is to prioritize it. Through therapy, we can build your toolbox for finding ways to build attachment with your baby and improve your mental health.